Just Until I Stop

Don’t smile.

Don’t laugh.

Don’t talk.

Don’t…

Just don’t…

‘Cause that one smile.

That cute laugh.

That sweet voice.

Melted my heart.

And I can’t promise myself that I could give you up.

-Transpen2019

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Saranghae, Appa

Hold my hand daddy
‘Cause I am just a kid.
Wandering this huge place is a bit scary
Your hands could keep me safe.
Hold my hand daddy.
Don’t ever let me go.
This park is full of people
And I don’t wanna get lost.

Look at me daddy
I am a big girl, see?
I went to school, I had new friends
I think I’m learning now.
Look at me daddy
I can wander on my own
This place is big, I am not afraid.
I think I could stand alone.

Where are you daddy?
Are you watching from above?
Can you see me now? Look, I’ve come this far.
I think I’m grown up now.
Where are you daddy?
Are you watching from above?
Are you proud of me? Do you miss me?
‘Cause I miss you so bad.

Hold my hand daddy
Look at me daddy
Where are you daddy?

I know you are happy now.

Will I Stagger?

All the time I spent with you was amazing.
Never did I think of letting time pass without being with you.
No matter what you do, it makes my heart flutter.
Everything was perfect until that one dream shook me. It hurts

My dream started with a man who’s back faces me.
Even I was surprised when I realized it was not you in that dream.
Romantically speaking I was hoping it was you who would eventually face me.
Yet my heart says that a different man is appearing in my dreams.
Lost and puzzled, my heart started to beat differently.

Days have passed and I’ve dreamt of that man again.
As if he was teasing me since he would not even spare a glance.
Vividly I’m trying to glue the pieces of my dreams to answer my troubles
If in any case the man faces me and it was not you
Do you think my heart will be affected by this sudden turn?

Sana Umabot Sa Panglima

Isa.

Isang araw napansin ko na lang na iba na ang dating ng iyong mga tingin at tawa.

Dalawa.

Dalawang linggo akong nalito at natorete kung bakit biglang nagbago ang pagtingin ko sayo.

Tatlo.

Tatlong salita ang gusto kong marinig na sabihin mo.

Apat.

Apat na gabi na akong puyat mula nung araw na napatunayan kong iba na ang nararamdaman ko.

Lima.

Limang salita. “Mahal na kita, noon pa.” Masambit mo kaya?

Little Did I Know…

I was once asked if I have ever been in love.

Then I fell into a deep silence.

I asked myself repeatedly…

Have I ever been in love?

Was I inlove that time?

What the hell is love???

I tried google-ing the definition of love and came up with cheesy quotes that gave me goosebumps.

I tried asking other people of their experiences in love and it made me think harder.

Maybe.

Jusy maybe.

I wasn’t really in love.

I was blinded by all the definitions of love that was being fed to me by those romantic movies and dramas I’ve watched.

I was given the illusion of a surreal meaning of love that left me believing in the idea of the perfect love I thought of.

In short.

I was in love with LOVE.

I was in love with the idea of love.

I was in love with the feeling of being in love.

I was…

STUPID.

I was in love with the early morning text messages and the late night calls.

I was in love with the hugs and kisses we’ve shared on a cozy afternoon.

I was in love with the sweet nothings.

I was in love with the break up.

I was in love with the pain I felt when you left.

I was in love with the moment, not at the moment.

And now, I think it leaves me with nothing.

I was not haunted by your name whenever our friends ask me about you.

I am not in pain whenever I go to places we’ve been to.

I feel nothing when I come across a memory of you.

I realized.

I was in love with the idea of someone loving me.

I was in love with the idea of love and it just happened that you were there.

I am lost with love…

Little did I know…

Madali Kang Mahalin Pero Masakit

Madali kang mahalin pero masakit.

 

Ang dali mong mahalin dahil sa iyong ngiti na talaga namang nakakapukaw ng lungkot sa mga labi. Pero masakit ka ding mahalin dahil ang mga lungkot na binura mo ay mas napapalitan ng hinagpis at kirot.

 

Ang dali mong mahalin dahil sa iyong kakaibang lambing na talaga namang nakakapagpakilig sa puso kong nagpipigil. Pero masakit ka ding mahalin dahil sa bawat lambing wari’y may nakalakip na pait na sa isang iglap maaari itong mawaglit.

 

Ang dali mong mahalin dahil sa bawat araw na lumilipas ay mas minamahal kita at mas nahuhulog ako sa malalim na hukay na tila ako rin ang may gawa. Pero masakit kang mahalin. Napakasakit mog mahalin dahil sa bawat araw na ako ay nahuhulog, ito namang iyong pag alis na parang ako ay hindi sapat na dahilan ng iyong pananatili.

 

Bakit nga ba mahal pa rin kita kaht alam kong sobrang sakit na? Bakit nga ba?

 

Siguro.

Marahil.

Dahil ganiyan ka lang talagang magmahal.

O baka naman hindi pa ako sapat na dahilan upang mag iba ang pananaw mo sa tunay na halaga ng pag-ibig o ng pagmamahal.

 

Hanggang ganito na lang ba ako?

Magmamahal at masasaktan ng todo.

Hanggang dito na lang ba talaga tayo?

Mamahalin kita at sasaktan mo ako.

 

Napakadali mo talagang mahalin. Hindi man ikaw ang perpektong tao na matagal kong hiniling ay ikaw pa rin ang tinitibok ng puso kong baliw.

Napakadali mong mahalin na kahit ang daming sakit na kaakibat ng ika’y makasama, pinilit ko pa ring manatili upang kahit konti ay lumigaya.

Dahil kahit kaakibat ng napakaraming sakit at pait ang mahalin ka, pinipili ko pa ring manatili dahil ito ang sa aki’y magpapasaya.

 

Napakadali mong mahalin at napakasakit din.

Napakasakit dahil sa bawat araw na minamahal kita ay ang mga araw na tila unti unti mo akong nililisan at unti unting naglalaho ang apoy na nung una’y lumalagablab at ngayo’y nanlalamig na.

Napakadali mong mahalin at napakasakit din.

 

Oo, mahal kita. Mahal namahal kita. Kahit ang sakit sakit na.

Stupidity is in the Eye of the Beholder

Sad-girl-sleeping-heart-breaking-love-image-300x250

She tried to calm herself but painful memories are rushing back.

She tried to look brave but she’s dying inside.

She painted a smile to cover the tears.

 

She later realized that if he says the words she’s been longing to hear;

She’ll forget about everything that he’s done to her.

She’ll embrace him fully and take him back to where he was supposed to be.

 

She’s stupid.

She’s helpless.

She’s crazy.

She’s in love.

Sad Boy And girl Love hurt MyWhatsappimages.blogspot.com  Whats app photos IMG_149452813970512

Tender Agony

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You came to me saying “Wala na si mama” then you cried. For a pithy moment I saw the pain in your eyes. I wanted to hug you. I wanted to stop your tears. Then suddenly you said “I’m sorry, I still love you.” On that moment, tears run down my face uncontrollably. I didn’t even fight back the urge to hold you close. I hugged you tight hoping that I could lessen the pain. I cried with you wishing that I could take away your distress. That night I realized, I still love you. Then I woke up. It was just a dream, a painful dream reminding me that you’re not here. A throbbing reverie that tells me we’re over. I’m hoping. I’m wishing. I’m waiting.

sad-alone-cute-girl-waiting-someone-window

‘Cause from the very start nothing has changed…

I still love you.

Walang Nagbago

Mahal mo pa ba ako?

Yan ang gusto kong malaman

Yan ang gusto kong itanong.

Mahal mo pa ba ako?

Ako’y nababagabag

Ako’y naninibugho.

Mahal mo pa ba ako?

Bakit parang nawawala ka

At naiiwan ako.

Mahal mo pa ba ako?

Nasaan ka na ba?

Kasi naghihintay pa din ako.

Mahal mo pa ba ako?

Kasi ako,

Walang nagbago.